


Goodnight, stranger

by MissPygmyPie



Series: Goodnight, stranger [1]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Depression, Drinking, Drinking to Cope, F/M, Gen, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-07-28 16:21:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16245380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissPygmyPie/pseuds/MissPygmyPie
Summary: Eggsy meets a stranger, a girl, one night. They instantly connect, given the fact that they both feel depressed and are drunk. He tries to find her again because he can't stop thinking about her, but will he succeed?





	1. Part 1

Eggsy shuffled down the street. It was night and no soul was seen. Although the rain had turned to a light drizzle, he still had his hood on. Again and again he lifted the bottle to his lips and even walking he somehow managed to down the liquid. It helped him kill time - and survive. Every minute of his life he felt helpless and alone, lost between trying to save his mum from Dean and his stepdad’s goons trying to make his life a living hell. But the alcohol helped him keep breathing.

Once again he had spent the night walking around the city with a bottle of whiskey in his hand. He loved how empty and lonely the streets were at such a late hour, almost as if they reflected his innermost self. But they were not completely abandoned. His eyes flickered over the wide area that opened up beside him. It was a park with a small playground in its center. Even in the darkness he saw the little wooden house attached to the slide and feet dangling from the side.

Eggsy’s eyes narrowed slightly. He recognized a person who had obviously sought shelter from the rain in the small structure. As if by magic, his legs led him over to the person. The ground was soaked, but the grass was thick enough so he did not get too dirty on his way. He couldn’t have cared less anyway.

Only a lantern attached to the edge of the playground allowed him to make out his surroundings. The closer he got, the clearer it became that it was a girl sitting there in the dark. The dark hood of her jacket nearly covered her entire face. She did not seem to care much about him and even as he finally settled down next to her, she stared straight ahead.

An empty bottle of gin was lost in front of her on the wet surface. In a strange way, he was reassured that she, too, had obviously already been drinking. It was like an invisible bond that bound them together. He pulled his hood off his head and without a word passed the liquor over to her, making her look into his face for a brief moment.

Even in the dark, her eyes looked a little swollen and slightly wet spots were visible on her cheeks.

“Were you crying?” He asked softly as she reached for his bottle.

“No, that was the rain.”

“Yeah, the rain coming from your eyes.”

She did not answer but turned her attention to the drink. She took a few sips, then handed it back to the young man. He gratefully accepted it, before he brought the glass to his own lips.

“What are you doing out here?”

Her voice sounded scratchy and almost a bit broken.

“Well,” he began, taking a deep breath, “my stepdad’s probably drunk at home, didn’t want to face him. What about you?”

“I don’t know” she hesitantly replied, “I just needed to get out I guess.”

Eggsy nodded, though he was sure she did not see it. She still hid inside the hood of her jacket. He couldn’t think of anything to reply, but in a funny way it felt okay and something told him that she felt just as comfortable simply sitting next to each other and sharing the bottle of whiskey.

“Needed a break as well?” It was her who broke the silence first.

“Yeah.” A little more of the alcohol found its way into his mouth.

“Do you think it’s ever going to stop?” she whispered, “or do you think we have to learn to live with it and suppress it as good as we can?”

Eggsy knew exactly what she was talking about. The pain that was deep inside, the helpless feeling of being lost and the sad certainty that no one would ever understand. “At least you know you aren’t the only one silently suffering.”

Although the light was sparse, he clearly saw the tear that ran down the girl’s cheek. His heart was breaking at the sight alone, but on the other hand he had never felt so secure and understood before.

Without further ado, he grabbed the hand of girl and surprised himself with this simple action, especially because he hadn’t even thought about it. It was a spontaneous reflex and he couldn’t help it. He squeezed her shaking fingers, but did not say a word.

The next few minutes they spent in silence, only the exchange of alcohol making a few quiet sounds.

“I wanted to …” she started, but cut herself off quickly.

Eggsy frowned slightly. “You wanted to what?”

“I wanted to leave. Like, disappear forever, end it all” she began to tell quietly. “I wanted to enjoy some time out here, finish this bottle of gin and then go back home. There are some razorblades waiting for me. But then you came and sat down right beside me.”

“And now you don’t want to anymore?”

“I don’t know,” she answered honestly.

He himself did not realize it, but his thumb stroked gently over the skin of the girl’s hand he still held. Eggsy looked away from her. Again they fell into silence. The rain had started to fall again, it was almost as if the sky knew how he and the girl felt. He watched the little drops as they fell continuously on the ground in front of him.

“Don’t do it.”

He had said it so softly, it had almost set under the sound of the rain. But she had heard him. The tightening pressure on his hand made this clear. It was this little gesture that made him feel a little better and put a smile on his lips, albeit a very small one. His hand was hurting by now, that’s how tightly they held onto each other. It had been a long time since Eggsy had felt so comfortable in the presence of another person, and even though he had no idea who that girl was suddenly all negative feelings fell off of him.

Squeaky tires suddenly startled them. Just meters away, a car stopped and they watched the driver crank the window down.

“Eggsy?” A male voice could be heard. “There you fucking are! Come on, the pub’s waiting.”

It was one of his friends shouting at him and Eggsy could see the rest of the group in the backseat looking at him.

"I gotta go” he turned back to the girl next to him.

“Yeah,” she nodded and jumped with him from the house down to the wet grass.

Much to his dismay, she had released his hand and now hid her hands in the pockets of her jacket. “You need a ride?”

“No, it’s ok,” she shook her head, “I’m gonna find my way home, but thanks.”

Eggsy nodded and let his eyes wander for a few moments. “How about we meet here again, in a week, same time?”

He could not really read the expression on her face, but in the end she nodded, albeit very weakly. “Okay. See you in a week then.”

She buried her hands even deeper in her pockets and slowly started to move away from him.

“Goodnight, stranger” were her last words and she smiled gently at him as her feet carried her away.

"Night,” he replied, raising his hand in greeting.

Finally, with one last smile, she turned away from him and he watched her grow smaller and smaller and finally disappear into the next alley.


	2. Part 2

Ever since the week before Eggsy felt impatience within him, not stopping for a single second since the moment he had gotten into his friends car and leaving the girl behind. Their instant connection scared him, mostly because he had never had somebody in his life he was that close with. Sure, his mum was there for him whenever she could, but with Dean she had her own problems and things to take care of, especially her little daughter.

Eggsy’s whole body buzzed whenever he thought of her. Her, the unknown girl he had spent not more than half an hour with. He didn’t even know her name! Why was she so important to him? As much as he tried, he couldn’t figure it out and after just a couple of days he was tired of suppressing his feelings. He wanted to remember her face and voice, enjoy the memories of their sad encounter - allow him to look forward to their next meeting.

“Eggsy!”

“Hm?” he turned to Ryan, who sat opposite him in the pub.

“Mate, are you alright? You been spacing out again.”

“Yeah,” Eggsy nodded, shaking his head barely visible to get himself out of his thoughts, “I’m good.”

All he earned was a suspicious look from his mates. He sighed. What was he supposed to say when they asked what he was so deep in thoughts about? He couldn’t possibly be honest with them, it was absolutely daft and nobody would understand for a split second how he had felt when he was sharing these moments with the girl. But he also knew that his mates would never believe whatever story he’d come up with. They knew him far too well.

Jamal took a large sip of his beer, before locking eyes with the blonde. “I know her, y’know?”

“What?”

“The chick,” Jamal began to explain calmly, but not without smirking internally. He knew his buddy well enough to know that Eggsy was somewhat interested in her, despite how often he tried to distract his friends from talking about her. “The girl from the playground last week.”

“Who is she?” Eggsy stammered; he could feel his hands get sweaty and rubbed them nervously up and down his pants.

How often he had wondered who she was, what she was called, where she lived…

“She lives not far from my mum’s, her name’s Y/N.”

Six days. Six days he had asked himself how to find her or how to make the time go by faster so he could see her again and ask all the questions lingering in his head. Six days of daydreaming and reliving the few moments they had with each other. His friend had waited six days to tell him that!

“Are you taking the piss?” His voice got loud and with blank eyes he stared into his friends face, the anger starting to bubble up inside of him.

“What are you on about?”

“You knew all the time and waited almost the whole week to tell me you know her?!”

“Eggsy, chill…” Ryan tried to calm him down, to no avail.

“No, I’m not going to chill!” the blonde barked, “you two have no idea!”

“Mate…”

“Just fuck off!” The chair Eggsy had been sitting on screeched as he jumped up, pushing the chair backwards.

He was boiling inside. With fast steps he left the pub and his friends behind, his teeth clenched together. Yes, he was furious, but he was also scared. All the wondering had found a sudden end. Y/N he constantly repeated her name in his head, loving the way it sounded and how well the name fit to her! It was a lovely name, just how she was. He knew she wasn’t the person he saw almost a week ago. He truly believed that there was somebody hidden - that there was a different Y/N concealed inside of her, beneath all the depression, tears and suicidal thoughts; a Y/N that was kind and funny and deserved all the love in the world. She just needed somebody to show her, just like he needed someone to show it to himself.

___

Sunlight peeking through the window of his room woke him the next day. He peeked to the clock: 3 in the afternoon. Eggsy hadn’t spoken to his friends since the night before, successfully ignoring all the messages they’d send to him. Another text popped up on the screen of his phone but he wasn’t going to waste any thought on it and quickly clicked “delete”.

Today was the day he would see her again. It had only been a week but to him it felt like he was about to see his best friend after being separated for far too long. They would only meet up in about seven hours, so he took his time showering and getting dressed.

He smiled at himself looking in the mirror. He hadn’t been this nervous about something in a very long time and a part of him wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to go. But the part that wanted to so desperately see her again won and he allowed himself a short moment of happiness, although that was something Eggsy barely experienced in his life, constantly trying to juggle his step dad’s moods, taking care of his mum and being a father figure for his little sister.

With every minute that passed the blonde haired got more and more jittery, his heart starting to beat faster and faster with every second. He must’ve checked his watch about 50 times in the last half an hour. And yet, it was still too early for him to head to their meeting point.

What would she say when he showed up? Would she be happy? Would she be embarrassed by the fact that he’d seen her cry? Would they share another special moment together? Would he have the balls to ask for her number?

A sudden noise made him jump when the front door to his apartment got pushed open and smashed into the wall. Screaming and crying surrounded him and he watched Dean shoving his mother into the flat, throwing her to the ground.

“You think you’re smart,” the man’s voice howled through the room, “I’ll show you, you cunt!”

Dean was fuming, so much was clear, Eggsy just didn’t know what had happened. But to be fair, he didn’t care a single bit. His step dad had always been a proper arse who blew up by the smallest things and most of the time alcohol played a major role.

Eggsy was quick to react and grabbed his mum’s arm, helping her up. She was shaking from head to toe, fear showing in her eyes of yet another attack by her oh so loving husband. Eggsy was sick of it! He didn’t want to deal with this anymore. He didn’t want to feel as though his family was unsave and he didn’t want to see his mum suffer from day to day.

He could smell the alcohol coming from Dean, he was reeking and yet again Eggsy had had enough. His fist collided with his step dad’s face, both of them screaming at each other in rage. They were too sought up into their anger, not paying any attention to Michelle who desperately tried to separate them.

Eggsy had no idea how long they had been fighting for when he finally managed to kick Dean out of the apartment. He was breathing heavy as he plopped down onto the couch. Michelle quickly got some tissues to clean up the blood on her son’s hands and face, smiling sadly but thankful. They sat in silence for a while, until Eggsy shot up, casting a glance at the clock on the wall.

“Fuck! I gotta go, mum,” he gasped, grabbing his keys and making his way to the door, “I love you! See you in a bit and call me when you need me, yeah?”

Michelle nodded smiling and just a second later Eggsy was out of the door.

Eggsy jumped down the stairs, panting and full of panic. He was already late and he hoped he’d make up some time, so he ran faster and faster until he almost passed out. He checked his watch again; 10:25. Eggsy was running so fast he almost slipped taking the last corner separating him from the playground, before slowing down. His eyes scanned the open area in front of him.

There was nobody there.


	3. Part 3

“FUCK!”

Eggsy’s voice echoed through the empty area as he nervously rubbed his hands over his head.

“No, no, no…”

His body started shaking with anger, having missed the opportunity to see her. He was mad at Dean for being the aggressive asshole once again, trying to destroy his mum’s life even more than he had already done and ruining Eggsy’s chance of meeting with the stranger. But most of all Eggsy was angry at himself for not leaving his house earlier. Sure, he had saved his mum from most likely serious injuries, a drunken husband and yet another broken heart, but nonetheless he couldn’t stop himself from being disappointed in himself.

The blonde was frantically scanning his surroundings, confused, scared and desperate. He had no idea what to do. What if she had been here, waiting for him? He cursed some more, kicking a nearby trash can. Then suddenly he remembered something…

Eggsy’s hands were shaking he almost dropped his phone taking it out of his pocket. Still cursing his dad, himself and the whole world he dialed the only person who could be able to help. And thankfully, it didn’t take long for Jamal to answer his call.

“Bruv, I’m sorry for…”

“Where the fuck does she live?” Eggsy blurted out, interrupting his friend on the other end of the line, still pacing around the empty playground.

“Are you okay?” he could hear his mates worried voice.

“I need to know right now!”

“Alright, mate,” Jamal decided, “go north from my mum’s place, second street on the left. It’s the fourth house to your right. Is everything…”

Eggsy had already hung up on him. He had no intention to talk to him any further, he had gotten all the information he needed. His legs started moving within a split second and moments later he was running down the long, dark streets in front of him.

He was determined to meet her tonight. He messed up, big time, but he wasn’t going to let this chance slip. It could very well be that she hadn’t even shown up but something told him that she had been there.

By the time he arrived at her place he was panting and exhausted and sweating all over, little dropletts making their way down his forehead. He pushed the bell multiple times, but no one answered. He peeked through the windows and saw lights turned on, which meant she had to be home. Eggsy got nervous. He very well remembered the state she had been in. Did something happen to her? Had she gone through with her plan after all? Sudden nervousness and panic spread inside him. He would never forgive himself if the girl had done something stupid - because he hadn’t been there.

Not even realising he tried to open the door; it was unlocked.

“Y/N?” he mumbled, not wanting to scare her in case she was around and just hadn’t heard the doorbell, “I’m sorry for barging in like that, the door was open.”

No response.

“Y/N?” he tried again, but nothing.

His eyes suddenly saw the light coming through a half open door just a couple of steps away. He could see a bathroom sink. If she was home he definitely would’ve heard him. His legs slowly carried him towards the room and carefully he pushed the door open a bit further. Eggsy’s insides cramped when he saw her.

“Fuck, Y/N!” He yelped, repeatedly shouting her name while lifting her motionless body out of the tub, almost slipping because the water had splashed all over the tiled floor, tears streaming down his face.

___

She lay in a bed. Y/N could feel a thin blanket covering her whole body up to her throat. Her eyelids were too heavy for her to open them. Only the soft smell of disinfecting agent told her she was in hospital. A cold hand held hers. The person’s rather skinny fingers embraced her digits softly. She didn’t have a clue who it was, but in her still very present dizziness she wished for the hand to belong to him, the young man she had met on that playground, who had managed to bring at least some joy into her life.

Y/N had long given up on believing in love at first sight but she had experienced it. And now she prayed so hard that he had felt it too and came to look after her while she was tied to this clinical, unloving hospital bed. After minutes of fighting the heaviness she was able to open her eyes and blinked, once, but it was too weak for anyone to see it.

His silhouette greeted her. He was sitting at her bed holding her hand. She knew it was him! She felt it with all her heart and no words could have ever described the relief she felt. He was with her. Her eyes managed to open for another short moment and fell onto the big monitor what was standing next to her bed. Y/N saw the greenish lights casting shadows on the screen.

“I’m sorry, please don’t leave me…” she begged him, silently, because her throat was aching with dryness so much she almost didn’t dare swallow.

She was so desperate her breathing got heavier forcing the machines to beep even faster. That very moment Y/N was more afraid than she has ever been before. Afraid of him doing the same she had tried to do a while ago – leaving. The thought made her so upset she felt the darkness reaching for her again. The grip on her hand got tighter as she was clenching her fist, pressing her fingernails into the soft flesh of his hand.

She was so sorry. So sorry for being so stupid! He wasn’t there, so naturally she thought he wouldn’t have any interest whatsoever in her, so her mind forced her to do something stupid, something she regretted so deeply now.

“Stay with me!”

Was that him? Did he talk to her? And then the shadows seized her.

The world around her was pitch-black. Being caught in there every second felt like a lifetime. She fought, she cried, she kicked, she yelled, but her body got more and more tired and exhausted with every attempt of resistance. Although she was breathing heavily she sensed that not enough air managed to find its way into her hurting lungs. She was dying.

It was only a while ago she had wished for that, but now she was panicking because that was exactly what she didn’t want anymore. She wanted to stay in this world – with him. Even if this meant to keep on living in misery, just like she did the last couple of years. She would have agreed to live in pain forever as long as he would be by her side. But things can change, can’t they?

Alarming red lights were seen in the distance. They were crimson and glimmering, not comparable to the deep dark colour surrounding them and her weak body. The nearer the lights came the more her body started to burn like never before, as if she was on fire, as if someone would have put her into a pool filled with acid.

From somewhere far away a voice was heard, very silently at first, but getting louder and louder.

“Please, wake up! You gotta wake up, luv…” the hushed voice was saying.

She knew who this voice belonged to, there was no doubt. Hearing him, his beautiful angelic voice, for the first time since they said goodbye to each other the week before, felt better than anything she had ever experienced. However, he sounded frightened. But why would he be? Wasn’t he as happy as she was at this very moment? That they were together, that they had found each other? She definitely was. And now that she knew he had gone after her she regretted her actions from just moments before.

“Come on, luv, stay with me!”

A strong feeling suddenly pulled all her innards together. The pain was back. Her heart would burst if this feeling wouldn’t stop soon. She was happy. Confident. Safe. At home. Was this the emotion all her friends and family had been talking about all the years? Was this what people called love?

The machinery’s voice filled the room with ear-piercing warnings. Y/N could hear the door getting slammed open and several people’s steps hurrying into her direction on the flagged floor. She felt at least two pair of hands pushing and treating her body – and another pair she knew who they belonged to. He was still by her side. He hadn’t left. And for the first time in years she experienced the meaning of being happy.


	4. Part 4

Eggsy had never felt more alone than he did sitting in the waiting area. He was afraid, afraid for the girl who they’d been taking care of for over 45 minutes now. Thoughts started creeping into his mind. What if she didn’t make it? What if he’d just seen her for the last time? What if it was too late to tell her that he was so incredibly sorry for not being there?

No! It was not too late! He sat there all tensed up from head to toe, while the minutes passed without hearing any news about her. After more than an hour the door got pushed open and he saw the doctor coming out walking towards him.

“Is she okay?” he immediately jumped off his seat.

“She will be fine, Mr….”

“Unwin, I am… a friend of hers,” Eggsy replied hesitantly.

“Don’t worry, Mr. Unwin, she’ll be fine and just needs some rest” the doctor promised with a smile.

Eggsy let out a relieved sigh. “Can I go see her? Please?” he begged, anxiously clenching his fists.

“Of course, follow me. She will sleep for a while, however” he stated, while leading Eggsy through some corridors. “You can go home and rest a bit if you wish and we can notify you whenever she wakes up.”

“No!” Eggsy cut him off. He wanted to be with her - be there for her when she woke up. Especially since he still couldn’t shake off the feeling that it was his fault she was here in the first place. No matter how exhausted he was, all that mattered was Y/N.

The blonde earned another warm smile before they stopped in front of a room. Eggsy could see her lying there through the window. She was so pale and looked so tired.

“Talk to her, hold her hand,” the doctor’s voice directed Eggsy’s attention away from the girl’s face, “maybe she will wake up faster. I will leave you alone and give you some time.”

“Thanks,” Eggsy nodded before the man closed the door behind him.

Trembling, he walked over to her and sat down in the chair beside her bed. Without hesitation, he reached for her hand. It was cold and weak but he didn’t care, he would do whatever he could to let her know he was there, even if it was by just holding her until she woke up.

Over the next couple of hours the nurse checked in on her quite a few times and every single time Eggsy would ask her how long it would take still for her to wake up.

“Have some patience,” she kept telling him and that’s what he was.

Patient. But the silence in the room made it hard for him to be. He kept checking his phone, to see if his mum had called after her fight with Dean, but mostly to distract himself from the wait and guilt creeping up inside of him.

It was only when the dim light announcing the new day started to shine through the thin slits of the blinds in her room her fingers suddenly started moving and it ripped Eggsy from his state of trance he had been in for the last couple of hours.

“Y/N,” he jumped up immediately to step a little closer to her, “are you okay, luv?”

He knew he was looking a lot more worried than he cared for her to see, but she greeted him with a gentle smile and let her eyes wander over his face.

“I’m okay” she croaked, her throat hurting and dry.

Only a little while ago she thought she’d never see him again, especially not since he hadn’t shown up at their meeting point. But now he was with her and her heart nearly burst with happiness.

“Never scare me like that again” Eggsy warned her, but his voice was gentle. “Finding you was the worst thing I’ve ever seen!”

“I’m sorry,” tears started swelling up in her eyes, “I am! I just thought, I thought… it’s silly.”

“What?” He carefully let his thump wander over the skin on her hand, waiting for her to answer.

“You weren’t there…” she hesitantly answered, “and I thought you didn’t care, just like nobody else does.”

Slowly he guided his free hand to her face, caressing her cheek and carefully wiping away a tear that had escaped.

Eggsy sighed. That was exactly the answer he didn’t want to hear. He didn’t want to hear that it was his fault and she had done it just because he had failed her. But things could be changed, couldn’t they?

“I’m so sorry, luv” he shook his head, trying to suppress his own tears, “I was late. My stepdad’s a real arse and I couldn’t make it in time.” He took a deep breath, trying to find the right words, although he had the feeling that no excuse could ever be enough.

“How did you find me? I never even told you my name…”

“One of my buds knows you, actually,” he admitted smiling, “he told me your address. I’m so glad I went to your place. Promise me you’ll never do such a thing again! Promise it, Y/N,” he demanded while stroking her y/h/c hair behind her ear.

“I promise.”

As soon as those words left her mouth he let out a relieved breath and they shared a long smile. It was like they’d know each other forever, old friends who just happened to enjoy some time together. Could it be that she was The One?

“So, what’s your name?”

He threw his head back, laughing. “I suppose it’s only fair to tell you. It’s Eggsy.”

“Nice to meet you, Eggsy!”

She flashed a bright smile, making her face look a lot less pale and for a second made him forget what had happened. All he could see was her beautiful face and the lovely smile he so desperately had wanted to see since he had first seen her.

The blonde was lost in her y/e/c eyes for a while, until he finally felt brave enough to ask. “Would you be interested in meeting again sometime? Just to talk.”

“I would love that,” she weakly nodded, smiling at the young man sitting next to her.

Yes, she had tried something stupid but she also had the feeling that from now on life would be a lot better than it had been for her recently. As long as she had him to talk to – a stranger she felt so connected with without even knowing him – everything would be okay.

___

Her body lay perfectly still under the blanket, two strong arms locked around her. The rain was falling against the glass of the window, making soft noises and lulling them into sleep.

“I love you, so much” Eggsy pulled her even closer to him.

No matter how close she was, she was never close enough, so he wrapped his legs around hers, their two body’s forming a human knot.

“I love you too,” her sleepy voice could be heard, “goodnight, Eggsy.”

“Goodnight, stranger” he whispered in her ear, placing a soft kiss on her head and drifting off to sleep.


End file.
